When Survivors of Childhood Sexual Abuse Are Disbelieved

Why caregivers fail to support kids who disclose abuse.

• Up to a third of children abused in the home may not receive a supportive response when they disclose.

• Poor parental attachment, patriarchal beliefs, and emotional and economic dependence may cause non-support.

• Lack of support or disbelief has been linked to poorer, more severe long-term outcomes post-disclosure.

Andrea Robin Skinner, the daughter of late Canadian author and Nobel Laureate Alice Munro, wrote an essay in the Toronto Star in which she described how she was sexually abused by her stepfather in 1976. Her story of intrafamilial child sexual abuse is unfortunately not uncommon, but what has shocked many was that Skinner wrote that when she told her mother in 1992, Munro acted “as if she had learned of an infidelity," returning to her husband, whom she stayed with until his death, causing an irreparable rift between mother and daughter. Many are struggling to understand how a lauded and respected author who wrote about trauma failed to support her own daughter.

Why would a non-abusing parent disbelieve or fail to adequately support their child post-disclosure of CSA?

This is a complex question, and answers can vary based on the individual. Little recent research has examined this question, and many existing studies have small samples, with most focusing on the role of mothers, as it is often the stepfather or biological father who the perpetrator is. In cases of intrafamilial CSA, it is estimated that between 15 and 35 percent of non-abusing parents disbelieve some aspects of their child’s report.

• One study of 10 mothers found that those mothers who were rated as “unsupportive” of their children post-disclosure adhered more strongly to patriarchal cultural or religious beliefs and values, causing them to remain in contact with the abusing partner.

  
  

• Several studies have found that mothers were more likely to believe their children when the perpetrator was a biological father or extended family member than when it was a boyfriend or stepfather.

  
  

• Economic and/or emotional dependence on the abusing parent was also found to be related to disbelief or unsupportive responses.

  
  

• The findings regarding the age and gender of the child are inconclusive, but some studies have found that mothers are more likely to believe younger children and male children than adolescent, female children.

  
  

• Other studies have found that poor attachment between mother and child can result in disbelief or non-support.

  
  

• It is also speculated that perpetrators engage in familial grooming, such that the perpetrator not only engages in the sexual grooming of the child but also of the non-offending family members, thus increasing the likelihood that the abuse will not be detected or believed.

What happens when children are disbelieved or not adequately supported when they disclose CSA?

There are many negative long-term consequences of CSA, however, research suggests that they are exacerbated when a survivor comes forth and is not supported.

• Parental support post-disclosure has consistently been associated with the adjustment of sexually abused children, such that children who are believed and supported have better long-term outcomes.

  
  

• A recent meta-analysis found that this relationship was not as strong as previously believed, but perhaps that was because of the way support was conceptualized. That is, perhaps the long-term outcomes were less about whether the child was believed or disbelieved than about the quality of the parental attachment to the child and the child’s perception of the parent-child relationship.

  
  

• However, the worst outcomes result when a child discloses the abuse, nothing is done, and they remain in the abusive situation.

Thus, it is imperative for children who have disclosed abuse to be supported by caregivers, and the quality of this support should be a focus of the healing process.

Elizabeth Jeglic, Ph.D., - Website -

References

Jeglic, E.J., & Calkins, C.A. (2018). Protecting you child from sexual abuse: What you need to know to keep your kids safe. New York: Skyhorse Publishing.

Winters, G.M., & Jeglic, E.L. (2022). Sexual Grooming: Integrating Research, Practice, Prevention, and Policy. Springer.